Dealing with Breakups - The Hero's Way

February. The month of love.

As we all know, love is such a wonderful feeling. One cannot make another understand 'What Love is!'. It is "To Be Experienced". People stammer in love because it is nothing but being vulnerable, letting down the guard for the other to see the tender heart. It makes one sit all alone with raw emotions getting purged.

In real time, showing love is a complicated phenomenon but movies have been exceptional in portraying love. Tamil Cinema has been good in handling love.

It has a legacy in depicting various kinds of love; Starting from 'Unrequited Love' (Oru thalai Kadhal) to 'Unmatched Love'(Porundha Kamam) through powerful writing and creative visualisation.

Being the month of love, this post is a tribute to Tamil Cinema for its staggering work in the area of love. February 14th has just passed. Love should have bloomed and the post speaks about break up. A pessimistic approach? Nay! It is a tribute for the unusual scripting.

The most critical part in love is the coping mechanism post break up. Tamil cinema has dealt with these at ease. The usual break up is all pain oozing out and depicted through unhealthy coping mechanisms like excessive drinking, drug addiction, self pity, vengeance, suicidal behavior in one or the other movies.

But some break ups in Tamil cinema are stylish. Here are few characters spectacularly crafted with a difference. The below characters stand tall in the coping mechanisms followed after a rejection or break up. The same pain which hurts head, makes one sob, lose all confidence, dries tear gland; is handled and healed with an elegance.


Hari - Yei Nee Rombha Azhaga Iruka

A jovial fellow who falls in love with his cousin Raji. He proposes and she rejects his proposal. Height of his maturity in handling love rejection is compared with two other characters from the same movie, Bharath and Swapna. While Bharath takes up suicidal behaviour after rejection, Swapna seeks her solace through revenge. Hari, after his rejection, copes up in a great style. He is still jovial, friendly with Raji. In deed asks Bharath to be cheerful, accept the reality and Swapna to be more apprehensive about the rejection. Hari acts matured after the rejection where infact Raji is impressed with the way he carries himself and falls in love with him eventually. While the movie and character did stand just at an arm distance from heart and box office, the character is sketched so well, exhibiting a warming coping mechanism.


Karthik - Vinnai Thandi Varuvaiya

An aspiring director falls in love with techie, Jessie. Jessie is the reflection of normal girl who is constantly struggling to choose between family and lover. After all errands chooses family leaving Karthik in denial. Karthik tries his best to be back with Jessie but in vain. The way he handles break up is intense. He takes the self love way. Absolutely powerful where he polishes his skills and becomes stronger from where Jessie leaves him.

In due course, his friend proposes but he empathizes, ensures to explain and make her understand the current mental state he is in. He neither moves on nor loathes. He stays balanced. The entire song 'Aromale' is as blissful as his compelling soul search. The way he dances in nature, writing his script is graceful to watch on screen. The Song lyrics is more like blessing Jessie for her marriage life, “Sumungali Bhava, Manavatti”. But Karthik is the one on screen, seen unleashing his creative potential. Though their love is a failure, the journey of Karthik is a wondrous soul searching trip. A symbol of healthy coping.


Ram - 96

A beautiful soul who shys away. An introvert and a hesitant. Ram and Janu, love birds from teens fall apart due to inevitable circumstances. Ram is one of the platonic lovers in the recent times! He stays where Janu leaves him. But not in denial. He is someone who had accepted himself completely. The intro song reveals it in a phenomenal manner. The way he carries himself is absolutely stunning. He enjoys every bit of himself, his profession. He is absolutely okay in his own skin. He is able to sit with his pain, process it and live with it happily. He is someone who is happily stuck in past and doesn't struggle. He doesn't marry another at the same time he isn't desperately sobbing for his loss. A rare combination.

If someone is stuck in past it usually irritates. But Ram pampers the child in him with care and affection. And to see him on screen taking a tongue out selfie with Kali, evidently shows how happy, his inner child is. He is simply at peace with himself with his memories of Janu, hurting no one even himself. A rare healthy strategy of coping.


Nalla Shivam - Anbe Shivam

Of all characters mentioned, Nalla Shivam is unique and tops the list in healthy coping after a bad break up. A painter, dramatist falls in love with a rich girl and an accident not only separates them but leaves him differently abled. He oozes out love and love only for all, despite his short comings. He is a man of confidence, helping people in a way he could. He is for all and for himself with whole of love.

To conclude, being in a relationship or not; undergone or undergoing a break up or not, There is this scene from Anbe Shivam which speaks on how to love oneself and extend the love. Nalla Shivam stands in front of Mirror and speaks “Hai Handsome, kulicha aparam paravailla konjam lakshanamavae iruka”. One of the awesome scenes ever which beautifully tells about self-love, self-worth, embracing one’s own scars to find the inner strength, eventually being there as a strong emotional support for others.

So, before whispering ‘I Love You’ to partner, shouting aloud the same to the inner child can make way for ever lasting relationships in life, first with thyself so as to find it’s powerful rippling effects all around as love is the way of life.

Written By,

Rukmini Pranatharthiharan


Kavya Neelakandan February 21, 2019

Wow loved this one ❤️ although we all know these characters… It’s move that you brought back the importance of life even after breakup… Especially in a time where present day kids talk more often about death … Your writing is a blossom in the field.

Swathi February 21, 2019

Its amazingly penned, and the characters shown as example are worth portrayal. >_<:-)

Chandar February 21, 2019

This content felt like a metaphor of sensing a breeze while peeping our faces out of the Vasco Da Gama express at 6’o clock in the morning.

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